After Forest's win today which may not have been comfortable but was as important as any other 3 points we've gained this season i annoyingly can't help but wonder about the Play Offs. If we win our last two games (against Scunthorpe and Crystal Palace, teams we should in theory beat but who are fighting for their lives in a relegation scrap, making them very unpredictable) then we're into the play offs and i can experience all that uncertainty and nerve shredding excitement all over again.
Due to a combination of my past experiences with play offs (3 attempts, 3 defeats) and the fact that we've not been playing particularly well recently there is a part of me that almost wishes we'd just fully dropped away and were out of the running for the play offs. I suspect even if we make it we'll lose in the semi-finals and it'll put a bit of a gloss on what has to be considered a bit of a disappointing season. However i'm a football fan and one of the caveats of that is that no matter how pessimistic you are, on some level you want your team to win every game, to have the chance to compete for trophies and promotions.
One potentially interesting side note about this year's play offs is that the second leg of the semi-final will be played on either the 16th or 17th of May. My Political Theory exam is at 9.00 on the 17th. It will definitely make my day much more stressful regardless of the outcome, but there are a few different ways i can imagine it panning out. If we play on the 16th and we win i won't be able to celebrate as i would like, plus i'll be stressing over that rather than focussing on the impending exam. If we play on the 16th and lose it will mean that i go into that exam, one i am already dreading, in one of the worst moods anyone will ever see me in; the post play off blues are intense and throw in an exam on some old political theorists and you've got a cocktail of depression for me. Then again if we play on the 17th and win it could be brilliant; the relief of having got the exam out the way adding to what will be a high level of excitement already, with the celebration of a victory being the perfect way to cap off the day and i will be free to get as drunk and as daft as i want without too much in the way of consequences. If we play on the 17th and lose it could go down in my own personal history as one of the darkest days i can remember; screwing up an important exam and watching Forest lose yet again in the play offs would make for a pretty unrelentingly miserable day.
The above highlights the exact reason i almost wish we weren't in with a chance of getting into the play offs; it makes me think too much, makes me simultaneously pessimistic and hopeful, makes me play out scenarios in my head for how it might all pan out. Basically it makes me experience all the worst elements of being a football fan and i wouldn't have it any other way.
Today's song is a song off an album released in a few days which i'm as excited to hear as any in quite a while; an accolade in itself considering how many good albums have come out this year (White Lies, Elbow, Strokes, Warpaint, Washed Out, Rise Against). The song is called "Helplessness Blues" and it's the single off of the new Fleet Foxes album of the same name and i am really impressed. The video is a fan made one but unlike some fan made efforts i feel it really suits the song and the band. (I've worked out how to embed videos again - they changed the layout on the page and hid the embed option beneath a couple of others)