Today i experienced one of those incredible moments where i just felt utterly peaceful. That's not to say that the stuff i was worrying about last night had gone away, or that there wasn't a whole host of other things which bugged me over the course of the afternoon and evening. All those issues are still there, however for a fleeting moment i forgot all about them
I was sat in the back garden of the house owned by a group of my closest friends at university, a play list compiled by me playing over the speakers, eating a burger cooked on a BBQ and had a pint of cider in front of me. It was an over cast day, if anything a little chilly for a BBQ, but we'd rigged the area up with candles and fairy lights and it gave the whole evening a wonderfully relaxed feel.
It was Bloc Party that was playing and as i looked around, over the wall of the garden and out towards the buildings that surround their house i felt happy. Actually perhaps happy isn't the right word, the connotations don't quite fit, possibly 'content' is a more accurate description.
One of the descriptions of content, from that 'esteemed' source, dictionary.com, suggests content is the word i was searching for; "Satisfied with what one has, not wanting more or anything else".
For an all too brief moment that was absolutely true. I don't feel like that very often, i'm not someone who is all that satisfied with their life, i spend most of my time really struggling with the realities that face me, so i really cherish those moments where for whatever reason, i don't worry anymore. Where i gain perspective or calm and am able to simply enjoy a moment for what it is, rather than picking it apart for what it lacks.
Because of how rare moments like those are, i have to try and make the most of them, for i can never be certain how long i will have to wait before i can feel that kind of blissed out calm again.
As seems appropriate, i'm going to finish this blog with a song which comes pretty close to offering me that completely relaxed, completely content state: